May is a very special month in the world of family caregiving: We celebrate Mother’s Day, Military Families and Caregivers and Older Americans Month. More than 40 million family caregivers for older adults comprise the largest volunteer health care army in the nation with 7 in 10 caring for older moms.¹ These “troops” spend on average 4 years in their caregiving tour of duty providing an average 24 hours of care a week. But unlike our military, there is no boot camp for training, no pay nor benefits, no parades nor medals.

To help caregivers find the self-care break they need, we were inspired by the military programs to recommend this 3-Step approach to help ease the emotional and physical stress of caregiving service.

1. Boot camps

Part of military boot camp is preparing for the PFT (physical fitness test). The goal of boot camps (whether military or at the local gym) is to improve stamina, endurance and strength done in short bursts of activity. We know how difficult it is for caregivers to find time to attend a fitness class so instead try to find short bursts of 2-5 minutes throughout your day to rev up your aerobic activity and heart rate and power up some strength training.

• Climb the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator
• Do bicep curls with soup cans while watching TV with a loved one
• Practice kitchen squats when making a meal (chop, mix, stir, squat, squat, squat, repeat)
• Take discussion meetings at work or conversations with family outside – chat and walk a Monday Mile

This isn’t about breaking a sweat, but it is about giving caregivers little bursts of daily endorphin release which are neurotransmitters that offer natural pain and stress relief.

2. Respite Breaks

In the military, service men and women can receive regular AD “active duty” passes for personal leisure time off. For caregivers, there are often no breaks just constant service. Being able to perform as a caregiver means getting regular respite breaks.Here are three things caregivers can try to achieve respite:

• Ask for and accept help from family, friends, neighbors. In the military, fellow service members have a code “I’ve got your six” meaning “I have your back.”  Find a friend who can watch your loved one while you get an hour or two to do things just for you (get a pedicure, see an afternoon movie, take a nap)
• Do something that nourishes your soul such as listening to music, walk through a beautiful garden or florist shop and savor the scents of spring, watch a gorgeous sunset or sunrise, visit a museum in-person or online
• Check out free respite services through the Arch National Respite Network
• Take regular respite breaks – they should not be considered a once a year activity but rather once a week (use Monday to plan your respite break each week)

In a 2018 government report, nearly 76% of family caregivers reported respite services helped them “a lot” and approximately 40% of caregivers who rated their health as fair or poor before respite support, now rate their health as good.²

3. Practice MWR (Morale, Welfare, Recreation)

In the military there is a network of leisure and support services including social activities such as bowling, restaurants,pools, movie theaters, etc. under a program called MWR. To maintain resilience, the military understands balancing morale and social supports with active duty and understands the need to support the 5.5 million family caregivers who care for a veteran.³ The same support is needed for all family caregivers. Try these approaches to avoid social isolation:

• Make a regular weekly date to catch up with a friend whether it’s over a cup of coffee, wine or beer or via a videochat
• Tap into your inner child and find playmates to play a board game, ride a bike with friends and family, play hopscotch or Twister, lay on the grass and watch the clouds roll by, go to a ballgame
• Remember to laugh. William Fry, M.D., professor of psychiatry at Stanford University Medical School and an expert on health and laughter, reports the average kindergarten student laughs 300 times a day yet adults average just 17 laughs a day. Finding humor in caregiving can be challenging but looking for ways to find a giggle is just what the doctor has ordered

Studies have shown that social isolation can be the health equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day so maintaining social engagement is critical for caregivers to build both physical and mental health and well-being.⁴

References

¹ National Alliance for Caregiving, AARP (2015). Caregiving in the U.S. Washington, D.C.

² Corporation for National and Community Service, (2018, September). Longitudinal study of foster grandparent and senior companion programs: service delivery implications and health benefits to the volunteers. Bethesda, MD.

³ Ramchand R, Tanielian T, et al. (2014). Hidden heroes: America’s military caregivers, RAND Corporation. Santa Monica, CA.

⁴ Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS medicine, 7(7), e1000316.

©2020 Sherri Snelling