Fashion fades, only style remains the same. – Coco Chanel

As we gear up for some of the fun fashion events of the season (Fall Fashion Week just started and the Emmy Awards are on September 18), it had me thinking about the different styles we have when it comes to being a family caregiver.  It also had me thinking about “trends.”  One trend we can all count on is the growing number of older Americans and the need for family members to care for them.

Today, there 65 million family caregivers nationwide – 44 million who are caring for someone over age 50.  Over the next 20 years, based on the 78 million Baby Boomers who will add to our older Americans population, we will have more parents to care for than children.

I wondered about the different styles we have in our approach to family caregiving.  So, which caregiver style are you?

Your Caregiver Style: You are the typical caregiver – in some ways you are holding it all together but the perfect outward appearance belies the burn-out starting to erupt inside.  You are highly organized and you are always pulled together (you never have that just rolled out of bed look or “I haven’t taken a shower for days” appearance) but it is only a matter of time before the stress takes over.  Since you are a Type-A personality, you are caring for your loved one all by yourself – mostly because you feel no one else can do it as well as you.

Dos: Do use that positive personality to get “social” – something you do well but may have been ignoring lately.  You can get a break to see friends or do things you may be missing by tapping into your organizational skills and your social network.  Create (or have a family member or friend create one for you) a private online community where you invite others to volunteer to help you out in your caregiving duties.  One great place to do this is Lotsa Helping Hands.  This taps into your innate ability to pull people together to do some good.

Don’ts: Don’t ignore your own health and wellness needs – remember caregivers are twice as likely as the general population to develop multiple chronic illnesses earlier in life due to prolonged stress.  Find the balance on caring for yourself while you are caring for your loved one.

A great way to get started on a new “plan” of healthy living is to adopt the concept promoted by the non-profit Healthy Mondays Campaign that uses Johns Hopkins research to show that if you start your plan on a Monday you will be more successful and stick with it.  Check out their newly launched Caregivers’ Monday Campaign for tips.

Fashion Icons: Reese Witherspoon, Robin Roberts, Lauren Hutton

Caregiver Icon: Martha Stewart, who is always perfectly styled and coiffed while she juggles several balls at once and teaches us all to cook, decorate and socialize better.  Martha was the intrepid caregiver for her late mother who passed away at age 93.

Your Caregiver Style:  You will most likely perform all the caregiving duties yourself but look to modern technology to help you.  Since you are a trendsetter rather than follower, you will know how to talk to your older loved one about using technology – the conversation is about “Protection, Prevention and Peace of Mind” rather than “Privacy Invasion.”

Tech products that help caregivers and older loved ones stay independent at home as long as possible include Personal Emergency Response Systems (PERS) like the stylish new line of watches, belt clips and lavalieres by Lifecomm, new technology in medication dispensers such as Tabsafe or if your loved one has Alzheimer’s disease you may turn to Comfort Zone, a new gps-style safety monitoring system.  There is also Telikin – a touch screen computer that gives those with arthritic hands or decreasing vision the ability to easily use simple computer commands on screen rather than manipulating a mouse; and Jitterbug – a cell phone with a large number dial pad and buttons that comes with health medication reminders through cellular service from Great Call.

Dos: Do try reaching out to support groups online or in person (terrific caregiver forums can be found at Caring.com).  And, give yourself time to get a break – do 30-minutes on the treadmill, take a walk or you can adopt the new “stealth health” trend – hook up Nintendo Wii or Microsoft Xbox and get fit the tech way (the Kinnect hands-free controller for Xbox makes it even more fun).  You can also check out the latest “aging technology” products being exhibited at the annual Silvers Summit Conference or keep up on trends at the Aging in Place Technology Watch blog.

Don’ts: Don’t try to figure out everything yourself.  Remember you are not alone in your caregiving journey –help is out there and going online or high tech is a great way to start.

Fashion Icons: Gwen Stefani, Sarah Jessica Parker (who played our favorite Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex and the City”)

Caregiver Icon: Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Conner, who broke tradition as the first woman on the high court, lovingly cared for her husband who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease.

Your Caregiver Style: Of all the types of caregivers, you may be in the best shape – both physically and mentally.  You are more of a “go with the flow” sunny personality and you know how to tap into that powerful network of friends – mostly girlfriends – who can help you through any crisis.  Even if caregiving is triggered by a devastating event such as a sudden illness or hospitalization, you are laid back, calm and patient.  You keep yourself in good shape through physical activity, your mind clear through yoga or meditation and your body functioning in peak performance through good eating and sleeping habits.  Bravo.

Dos: Do continue with your balanced approach to caregiving – you are taking care of your own health and wellness by getting enough exercise and eating nutritiously.  And, keep up with your social network of friends – getting breaks every now and then will give you the stamina to remain in great caregiving shape.  It is this stamina which is important – the average caregiver cares for a loved one for 4.6 years but your caregiving journey can be as long as 15-20 years.

Don’ts: Don’t change.  You are the caregiver style to which we all aspire.

Fashion Icons: Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry

Caregiver Icon: Lisa Niemi, wife and caregiver of actor Patrick Swayze as he bravely battled pancreatic cancer.

Remember style is unique to each of us.  By understanding your caregiver “style,” you will feel empowered to be the best caregiver you can be.