One of the things I hear from numerous caregivers is that they feel all alone.  The reality is that if you are caring for a loved one over age 50 – you are among a cast of 44 million other Americans!

And, while you are the star of your caregiving story, you need a strong supporting cast around you.  In keeping up with “The Oscars” season, following are some celebrity caregivers who know what you are going through and tips on how to pamper yourself like the superstar you are.

The Caregiving Version of the Oscars

There are numerous celebrities who have spoken about their caregiving experiences.   If you are a caregiver, these celebs know the challenges you face.  And, while they certainly have the financial means and resources to get the expert help that many of us may not be able to afford – the emotional journey of caregiving is a role they have played just like you.

 

Martha Stewart – Although Martha is not a “film” star – she is a TV star.  She has also been a champion of caregivers, even testifying before Congress, having cared for her mother who passed away in 2007 at the age of 93.

Victor Garber – this star of Titanic, Sleepless in Seattle, Legally Blonde, Milk and The First Wives Club might be best known for his TV starring role in Alias.   Garber, who has Type 1 diabetes, cared for his mother and father who both suffered from Alzheimer’s disease.  Garber has been a passionate advocate working with the Alzheimer’s Association.

Marg Helgenberger – best known for her TV starring role on CSI, Marg co-starred in the films Erin Brockovich, and Always.  She cared for her mother who battled breast cancer for 27 years before losing her fight and for her father who has multiple sclerosis.

 

Lisa Niemi – although not a huge film star herself, Lisa was the “rock” behind her famous husband, Patrick Swayze, who appeared in The Outsiders, Red Dawn and is especially known for his star turn in Dirty Dancing.  Lisa became caregiver to her husband in the last few years before he lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in 2009.

Tracy Pollan – although her Hollywood career included lesser known films like Bright Lights, Big City, she met her future husband, Michael J. Fox, on his TV show, Family Ties. He became the star of the Back to the Future series of films but was diagnosed in 1991 with Parkinson’s disease.  Tracy cares for her husband and their four children.

Brooke Shields – teen star of films like Pretty Baby, Endless Love and Blue Lagoon, Brooke is caregiver for her mother who suffers from dementia.

Rob Lowe – pre-Justin Bieber fever, Rob was an 80s icon in films such as About Last Night and St. Elmo’s Fire, and recent star turns in the Austin Powers movies.  Rob’s mother suffered from breast cancer, a disease which also took the lives of his grandmother and great-grandmother.

 

 

Barbara Walters – her annual Oscar TV specials have her interviewing film stars from Tom Hanks to Meryl Streep.  However, until her book, Audition, was published a couple of years ago, few knew that she cared in later life for her sister who had a mental disability.

 

Maria Shriver – she is better known as a TV newscaster and wife to one of Hollywood’s blockbuster stars, Arnold Schwarzenegger of Terminator fame.  But, her real starring role has come in her advocacy for Alzheimer’s disease awareness and the nation of women it affects with her Shriver Report annual findings.  She recently lost her father, Sargent Shriver, after his years-long battle with Alzheimer’s.

 

Caregivers Need a Supporting Cast of Characters

Although you may not feel like it, if you are a caregiver, you are a true star in the life of your loved one.  While it is hard to take the time to pamper yourself, the most important role you will play is taking the lead in your own health and wellness plan.

While movie stars have limo drivers, assistants and a retinue of people around to serve them – you can also surround yourself with a supporting cast that will ensure your star continues to shine.  Conduct your own casting call for friends, neighbors and others to help give you a break so you can focus on yourself.

Have a list ready of the dates and things where you need help from your team of “stunt doubles.”  There are also several Web-based communities, such as Lotsa Helping Hands, where you or a friend can set up a calendar of activities and then invite others into your private community to volunteer to help.

How Caregivers Can Give Themselves the Star Treatment

Pick up any celebrity magazine or visit the celebrity sites online and the “pampering” and health and beauty tips can be simple or over-the-top.   Following are a few tips which will keep you performing your superstar role as caregiver:

• Become sleeping beauty.  Chronic sleep deprivation can lead to a long list of health issues including high blood pressure, heart attack, obesity, depression and even serious accidents.  The National Highway and Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates 100,000 traffic accidents and 71,000 injuries are related to drowsiness during driving.
• Create a Waterworld.  We have been told to drink eight glasses of eight ounces of water a day.  Another measurement is to take half your body weight and drink that much water in ounces.  So if you weigh 160 pounds, you want to drink at least 80 ounces of water a day.  Staying hydrated can help alleviate chronic muscle and joint pain, lower back pain, headaches and constipation.
• Screen test for de-stressing.  Cortisol is the stress hormone that increases abdominal fat making us want to eat more so we gain weight which stresses you out even more.  To stop the vicious cycle, try deep breathing exercises.  One method is to plug one nostril and breathe in deeply with the other, when you let it out, plug the other nostril.  Continue as long as comfortable but you will be amazed at how relaxed you feel after a couple of minutes.
• Let’s do lunch.  Most caregivers are famous multi-taskers.  Eating while in the car, at the sink, or on the run might seem efficient but can lead to bad digestion.  Take even a few minutes in the middle of your day to stop the madness and just savor your food.  Sit down, chew slowly, really taste the food and just enjoy.  If you can not find the time at lunch, carry almonds or a piece of fruit in your purse and at some point – stop and have your healthy snack without doing anything else for 10 minutes.
• Create your fantasy soundtrack. Music can sometimes be the best therapy.  Enlist your child, friend or co-worker to download songs onto your iPod or create a CD for your car.  Choose songs that uplift you and put you in a place of feeling empowered and upbeat.  Listen to your soundtrack going to and coming from your caregiving duties.  My soundtrack playlist includes the themes to “That Girl,” “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “It’s Complicated” (Nancy Meyers’ film with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin).   I feel instantly like I can conquer anything (find these songs and others on iTunes).

If you are a caring for a loved one, don’t walk that red carpet all alone.  And, ensure that from a health and wellness standpoint, you are always ready for your close-up.