Each year, we indulge ourselves on New Years Eve (champagne, cocktails, calorie-laden food and celebrations with family and friends) in preparation for the strict goals we typically set for the next day as a New Year’s resolution.
Yet, studies show by February, 80% have abandoned their well-intended plan (there is even an annual day for “ditching your resolution” on January 17).
Our ambitions become overwhelmed with the reality of life’s challenges which do not disappear just because it is a New Year.
This is even more true for the 65 million family caregivers – almost a third of which are Sandwich Generation caring for both children and older loved ones. How do you squeeze Me Time between the needs of two generations?
Rather than ditching your resolutions and feeling defeated, we recommend swapping your NYR with the MTM (ME TIME MONDAY) program. Here is how it works:
You can also watch the video on How to Start the 3-Step Me Time Monday Plan
The Alternative to NYR is MTM (ME TIME MONDAY)
Read more about how to become a Me Time Monday Resolutionary
Your resolutions may fall into one or more categories of wellness we identify in the Me Time Monday book and program:
If your goal is to walk more or eat more nutritiously or get more sleep, then you have focused on your Physical Wellness. If your resolution was to spend more time with friends or join a caregiver support group then your focus is in Social Wellness (and maybe Emotional Wellness). If your goal is to plan better for your own long-term care now that you have experienced the out-of-pocket costs of caregiving for a loved one, then your resolution falls into the Financial Wellness category.
The trick is to not set the goal so high that you can never achieve it. In fact, the key to successfully achieving goals or resolutions is to set the bar low – very low – and with every small achievement you make, it inspires you to keep going. This helps overcome the February mindset of abandoning your goals because they are too overwhelming. See below on Step 2 of the Me Time Monday program – TIME – how to look at your time spent on self-care or other goals.
With the Me Time Monday program, we encourage caregivers to look at their life holistically – you are more than just a better body or a sound financial plan. By examining the little things you can do in all 7 Wellness Element categories, you not only give yourself a little push to have better balance in life but you keep your goals interesting and engaging because you are cross-training in self-care and areas you may not have thought about on December 31.
We also ask caregivers to do a simple exercise of self-awareness based on the three steps of the Me Time Monday program. Here are things to ask yourself:
STEP 1 is ME:
What do you value? What makes you smile or feel happy or peaceful? Also, ask yourself, are the things that come to mind in just one category of wellness? Think about all 7 Wellness Elements of life and ask yourself, do I feel fulfilled in these areas? The 7 elements of Wellness: PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, SOCIAL, INTELLECTURAL, ENVIRONMENTAL, FINANCIAL AND SPIRITUAL are a way to bring that much-needed but often overlooked balance into your life that goes beyond me time – it is about inner peace.
Even though you may think of me time as time away from the hustle and bustle of life, it is really about what brings you joy, a smile to your face, a happy heart and feeds your soul.
Begin by examining your “ikigai” – a Japanese word that means “a reason for being.” Some define ikigai as your Passion (what you love) + your Mission (what you need) + Your Special Skill (what you are good at).
To really tap into your ikigai and your me time, think about:
- Is this something I want to do not something I feel I have to do?
- By taking this time for myself do I feel guilty or grateful?
- Can I tap into my inner child – do something that makes me feel carefree or brings a sense or wonder?
It is important to remind yourself that having balance in life and finding time for me is not selfish but SELF-FULL. By spending even a few minutes on yourself, you take back the internal locus of control you may feel you have lost when becoming a caregiver (where external locus of control has more power and is not in your control).
By taking a little ME TIME, you are creating a MEaningful life.
Step 2 is TIME:
When it comes to TIME – we use the 3 “S” words: Small steps, Seven Minutes, Stack Your Habits.
It only takes 7 minutes a day or even just 7 minutes a week to get started – even for overwhelmed family caregivers. Finding 7 minutes a week and building from there is empowering. By making your Me Time moments short and easy you will be inspired to continue to build upon your success every week.
As you will read in my book or learn in my ME TIME MONDAY workshops, there is a Power of 7 – 7 days in a week, 7 colors in a rainbow and 7 minutes a day of self-care or Me Time using MICROFLOWS (also known as baby steps).
Read more about the Power of 7 from Sherri’s Me Time Monday book
7 MINUTES is all it takes – think SMALL, SHORT, EASY and the more 7 minute Me Time breaks you get during the week, the better you will feel. But start slow – just 7 minutes a week is all it takes. Don’t try too much – go simple and small and you will find success.
Sometimes when we become caregivers, we feel like we have created time poverty – any available minute for Me Time evaporated in the face of all your new responsibilities. The Me Time Monday program flips the script on that thinking to make you feel time affluence – you are investing in and depositing little Me Time minutes into your self-care account.
One way to achieve your 7 minute goal is a technique called habit stacking. Backed by many behavioral psychologists and gerontologists, habit-stacking is not multi-tasking. When you multi-task you are asking your brain to accomplish two simultaneous tasks. Many people feel that multi-tasking is a badge of honor and for family caregivers multi-tasking almost becomes an imperative. But this constant brain overload is what leads to burnout.
Instead, habit-stacking is where you take a daily routine that you do not think about. For instance, brushing your teeth. This is a robotic daily morning exercise that most of us do automatically without thinking about what we are actually doing.
This was my habit-stacking “A ha” moment: I missed my stretching classes when gyms closed during the COVID pandemic so I embraced habit-stacking by doing some stretching (throwing each leg up on the counter) while brushing my teeth. It worked – now both are habits or routines I don’t think about but benefit from the activity.
Other ways to habit-stack is to say daily gratitude thoughts in the shower, listen to music that energizes you while making breakfast, doing a few squats and lunges while you wait for the coffee maker, listen to a podcast while washing dishes, etc.
Step 3 is MONDAY:
The problem with many New Years Resolutions is we have a goal but not a plan on how to get there. To create change you need a routine – something that is easy and that consistently reminds you to stick to your goal. MONDAY becomes the secret sauce in making your caregiver self-care goals sustainable and successful.
Monday is part of our cultural DNA. It is the start of new things every week, a signal for new beginnings. A Johns Hopkins study showed you are more successful creating healthier behaviors if you start on a Monday.
But the brilliance of Monday is not just the beginning of a new plan or beginning of the week. Where MTM beats NYR every time is that there are 52 chances during the year to reward yourself or reset your goals if you are getting off-track. Having a bad day or bad week does not mean you derail your goals – it just means you renew your intentions by getting motivation from your new Monday start (or restart). Routines beat resolutions.
Routines beat resolutions every time.
In a survey done by the Healthy Monday Campaigns, 64% said if they start with a positive frame of mind on Monday, they are more likely to stay positive for the rest of the week.
- 64% said Monday starts keep them going during the week
- 54% said Monday planning helps alleviate stress all week
- Having 52 Mondays instead of 1 New Year’s Resolution made people feel they had more control over their success
- Adopting Me Time Monday gets rid of the Sunday scaries and Monday blursdays
WHY ME TIME MONDAY WORKS
The secret for the Sandwich Generation is that MTM is not about deadlines as are NYRs. It is more about a weekly check-in with yourself. It is a pause in the chaos of caregiving to say “How am I feeling? Do I need time to reflect or just check-out so I can feel refreshed?”
There is no end-date for your goal – this is about an ongoing, perpetual pathway and journey to balance in life.
Some people have the Sunday scaries or practice Bare Minimum Mondays (or quiet quitting especially on Mondays) but that is about giving up your empowerment and internal locus of control. Do not give in to the external locus of control, it will only lead to caregiver burnout.
Make Monday your friend – your day. Monday becomes the day to Review, Reward and Reset your Self-Care routine. It is the day to Check in with yourself and to Celebrate YOU.
The best part is you do NOT have to do your 7 minutes of wellness on Monday. No – Monday is just the day to plan the rest of the week and reflect on how you can get it done. It gives you anticipatory happiness because you can put your MTM on my calendar and look ahead on when you get to do something for you.
When I created ME TIME MONDAY I wanted it to feel joyful which is why I chose the bright colors of the rainbow to prompt you to mix it up when it comes to your wellness.
Read more here about Color psychology from ME TIME MONDAY
I write in my book, “When you invest in your wellness, you are creating your personal joyconomy.” By mixing up your 7 Wellness Elements you are practicing “mixology” which is a science where bartenders make new cocktails. They like to dream up new ways to use the same basic ingredients and mix it up – that is how you should think of ME TIME MONDAY.
Maybe Monday or Tuesday you choose social wellness or getting 7 minutes more of sleep.
Wednesday or Thursday can be an emotional rescue moment with a friend or a digital detox.
Friday can be about intellectual (reading a book, doing a brain exercise) or planning for financial wellness.
Saturday or Sunday can be about spiritual wellness (finding awe and wonder).
But feel free to make it your own and again – start off slow. Maybe one of the wellness elements for 7 minutes this week. Once you feel successful and empowered you will feel inspired to do more.
Think of ME TIME MONDAY as cross-training for a joyful life.
©2026 Sherri Snelling adapted from her “Me Time Monday – The Weekly Wellness Plan to Find Balance and Joy for a Busy Life.”
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